


for looking liking moved

by peppermintquartz



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Ficlet, Introspection, M/M, quiet moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:19:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintquartz/pseuds/peppermintquartz
Summary: Chirrut likes to look at Baze.





	for looking liking moved

Chirrut likes to look at Baze.

When he mentions this in company, he usually gets an uneasy laugh or an awkward silence from the others. Baze only grunts. They are both long past the time when declarations of affection is embarrassing. 

Chirrut looks at Baze from the sounds the older man makes. Tired grunts when he gets ready for bed at the end of the day: Baze looks grey and old, weighed down by burdens he should not have had to carry and yet bears with minimal complaint. The lines around his gentle eyes will be deeper, and the corners of his mouth downward-drooping.

Sometimes, Chirrut hears soft clicks and knows that Baze’s hands are clenched, white-knuckled and veins standing out in relief against brown skin. He sees the cracks in the hard shell Baze presents to the world. He sees the dark, red welts of helpless sorrow and renewed rage, the bleeding cuts in Baze's heart whenever they hear of another acquaintance fallen, another town colonized, another soul lost. He sees the hollow yearning in Baze, where laughter and song used to reside. Chirrut remembers looking at Baze when they were young, and wondering how one person could contain so much joy. Now he looks and sees the gashes that have been etched into his Baze's soul, and Chirrut quietly grieves for the loss. Sometimes he wonders what might have been, if Baze had been allowed to spread his joy in the Force through all of Jedha, through the galaxy. The Force has its reasons, of course. Nevertheless, Chirrut wonders.

On the days when they get to sleep in a proper bed, Chirrut hears grumpy murmurs from the other man as he wakes up. Chirrut knows that Baze will seem like an ordinary man, puttering about as he cleans and dusts and makes the space inhabitable. Baze’s hair will be bound at his nape in a messy bun as he busies around their small kitchen, heating up leftovers if they have any and making tea. Chirrut loves the sweet vulnerability Baze shows when they have such times, when Baze can grumble about the water or their scant rations, or about the noise Next Door makes during sex. It is a rare luxury for Baze to allow himself to be picky. He endures, like the mesa. He is built for enduring. But Chirrut looks at Baze like this, fussy and nurturing, and wishes he could change the world so Baze can fuss all he wants. There are so few of such days ever since the temple fell.

Chirrut likes the way Baze’s mouth curls when he mutters sarcastic asides in the marketplace, and the way Baze’s eyes crinkle when Chirrut tells an outrageous lie. He likes looking at how everyone knows Baze is there to watch Chirrut’s back. He likes the tautness of Baze’s jumpsuit tightening over his hefty ass and sometimes endeavors to make Baze bend over just so the blind monk can admire the view a little more. He hears the shy catches of breath around them when he is successful in showing his Baze off.

His favorite time to look at Baze is when they are alone, hand in hand, and Baze’s focus is solely on him. The serenity of his expression is reflected in the calm stillness of his hands, the steady inhale-exhale of his breath, the gentle ease with which they inhabit the silence together.

Chirrut thinks their hearts beat at the same pace.

**Author's Note:**

> [i have written a book! Please consider purchasing one.](https://www.akleewrites.com/)


End file.
